Monday, August 21, 2017

Odd Street Signs

Any community of any size has the problem or delight of differentiating streets. Some cities go with some ordained plan, like naming streets after states or trees. Some favor historical personages; though lately some of those might require revision. Street names can occasionally yield some surprises. I immediately wondered what the people who named these streets was thinking of at the time. Here are some of my humble suppositions, my friends:

Named by a disrespectful nephew:

Frequently misspelled:

Guys just like to dance here:

A sign often stolen; I wonder why:

One wonders about Katie's:

Why do I think of Superman's girl friend?:

A pleasant surprise for newlyweds:

From the slaughter on Tenth Avenue:

Not a prime real estate market:

Hopefully, delightful surprises, not revelations from the ongoing story of Donald Trump:

This is in Knoxville:

In the neighborhood of Wall Street:

Dysfunction Junction, where things are royally screwed up:

Perhaps named by a Burger King fan:

Frat Row at the University is on this road:

Located in the boondocks:

Mr. Merlot lives here:

Not as separate as one might wish:

Does it whistle "Dixie?":

Can't trust the residents here:

Some people obviously had a good time with naming these streets.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Cultural Appropriation in Food Choice and in Other Things

The term "cultural appropriation" has come into vogue lately; and with anything current, it is subject to lampooning.  This is helped by the outrageousness of people who claim this is taking place, willy-nilly.

For example, recently Lena Dunham said that sushi served at Oberlin College in Ohio is 'cultural appropriation.' Apparently, if prepared and served to Caucasians by Caucasians, this constitutes this sin of 'cultural appropriation.' Oh my God! Does this mean that we shouldn't dare to cook ethnic foods from other cultures? Does my making Swedish meatballs commit this social sin? And what about Italian cuisine? How about tacos? Italian cuisine can cover a broad range of table offerings; some remote from Florence, Rome, or Naples.

And, hey, what about Cajun foods?  Recently, I encountered on-line a Midwestern jambalaya example of that versatile Cajun dish, jambalaya. While I would prefer a different recipe, any jambalaya does involve the use of whatever ingredients are available, including leftover meats. Not everyone has easy access to andouille or French garlic sausage; but there should not be any impediment to enjoy it.

Here's another version: Midwestern Jambalaya.

But Richard and Rima Collin feature several Platonic ideals of jambalaya.

Anyway, if you want jambalaya, these recipes are among some you might try. And, from this Cajun's view, you're not culturally appropriating my culture. Enjoy!

I wonder if it is snotty, not to mention, impractical, to consider preparing or dining on ethnic foods to be a form of 'cultural appropriation.' No, dudes and dudettes; it's cultural appreciation. Get a life and a brain, pompous ass elitists!

Still, the concept of 'cultural appropriation' is not without merit too. For example, several years ago, Victoria Secret model Karlie Kloss appeared on the runway while wearing an Indian headdress and other accessories.  I can see that Native Americans would not be happy at this, seemingly adapting a ceremonial headdress into a fashion show gimmick. (I think it was over the top, too, and offensive.*) And what about sports teams? What about the Washington Redskins?

For that matter, what about the University of Louisiana at Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns or the University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish? There's nary a criticism about these team nickname choices.**

Karlie Kloss and Indian headdress
*I would also criticize her wearing a Masonic apron.

**Probably the worst team nickname there ever was for Pekin (Ill.) High School Chinks! What were those people thinking? Bad kitty!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Wanda, the Swamp Witch

The Bayou Teche environs has its own set of perils; and one of them is Wanda, the Swamp Witch.

This free spirit lives along the bayou away from the settlements by choice. This is so she can pursue her nefarious doings with impunity, including shape-shifting. Actually, she is a good business woman despite her failure to advertise in The Daily Advertiser. Although she is not based in a shop in a mall, she is only a short trip down the bayou by pirogue, and people with special needs seem to find a way.

Special needs to buy gris-gris or hexes, that is. Wanda is the local witchcraft service provider and people know where she is and some find occasion to make arrangements. Who knows what dark motives reside in the hearts of men and women . . . . . Wanda knows! And she services those needs!

Once a group of UL - Lafayette alumni desired to insure that UL - Lafayette would be sure to win over University of Southern Mississippi. They sent their most expendable member down the bayou to deal with the swamp witch. She worked a hex on the Mississippi team but demanded in return that she would be supplied with a year's supply of boudin* and that the entire group should take a vow of celibacy for a year.

When the negotiator returned with the demand, they were shocked. But they gave in and kept their vows and sent the boudin. You don't mess with swamp witches; it's bad karma! And, yes, they got their victory! And relieved wives and angry mistresses, in some cases.

Wanda also sells charms to keep husbands and dogs from straying. Of course, pieces of boudin or hush puppies also help!

Shrimpers routinely drop in on swamp witches to get information as to where to cast their nets, and horse race fans from Lafayette Downs inquire of them regarding racing outcomes. The Bayou Teche Swamp Witch does it conservatively; she's inclined to counsel buying show or even place tickets. But she can pick Daily Doubles or Trifectas.

But there's something that swamp witches can't do very well; and that's affect political races. Last year, Wanda predicted that Hillary Clinton would be elected President. We all know how well that turned out. Yet, the Democrats captured the Governorship in Louisiana. 

Wanda put it well: "Politics is the true Bitch Goddess, not Success." It's always good to remember that.

Wanda dressed for the heat of the bayou.

*A type of sausage

Saturday, August 12, 2017

"What a Woman in Love Won't Do" - Country Music Surprise

This song by a country singer named Sandy Posey had an unexpected twist in the lyrics by John D. Loudermilk. Sometime back in the 1970's country music departed from its rural roots and took on more real to life themes. This singer started her career with a "poor is me" song entitled "Born a Woman" exhuding incredible bathos and apparently got more philosophic about it all. There are, after all, many ways to cope when you want to.

I hope you enjoy this departure from my usual japes, humor, and commentary.  Please leave some comments, if you please!

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Missy's Big College Date

When young Missy Chauvin was a j-student at L.S.U., she caught the eye of a president one of the fraternities, who expressed interest in going out with her. His name was Wilfred; and he was from a posh old uptown New Orleans family.

Naively, she accepted. And she breathlessly wondered what thrills or surprises it would bring.

Came the grand moment. Her college leader showed up, wearing jeans and a frat shirt. Purple and gold, naturally! And smelling slightly fragrant. Oh well, this would allow her to be seen more visibly.

But the bigger surprise was that the campus leader showed up with one of the pledges also! Yes, a wee little guy who came along and said nothing.

Little guy was not introduced, but remained quietly on the side. He was apparently along to drive, fetch, and carry; or maybe to learn some pointers on how a member of the fraternity should act.

Anyway, Frat President took her (and little unassuming pledge) to a club. Missy was not quite twenty at the time; and she envisioned herself winding up in the East Baton Rouge Parish jail and making desperate calls to her parents. But, no, campus big shots and athletes are exempt from the worries and rules that are inflicted on the common herd of university students!

Wilfred tried to get her loopy; but Missy set her limit at two drinks. And they were stiffer than she was used to. Missy wondered if he had slipped her a roofie. Then he popped the money question: "How 'bout you and I go to your place 'n screw?"

"No thanks. I'm not ready for doing that."

"Okay.  Then, would ja wanna go do a line or two; or perhaps smoke some joints?"

"No, thank you, Wilfred."

By now if you're thinking that she was scoring a goose egg with Wilfred, you're absolutely right. And you know something? Missy just plain did not care what the jerk thought! 

Wilfred was thinking, "This is one tight chick." And he took her back embarrassingly early (8:30 P.M.) and settled for a perfunctory peck on her cheek. A consolation prize for an unsatisfying evening for both.

And as the guys were leaving, suddenly Missy ran and caught up with the little pledge to gave him a soul kiss and a pelvic grind for him to remember! Maybe those two drinks did loosen her inhibitions! Missy had realized that the little pledge went along to be a live witness of the older frat boy's prowess with the ladies and she wanted to give him something to remember her by!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Coffin Calendar for Undertakers

Every year, about this time, art calendars are sold as wall decorations as well as means for discerning dates. Several conservation organizations such as the National Audubon Society offer for sale beautiful ones so that it's likely to make logging in appointments or seeing what day of the week Halloween falls on more enjoyable.

For a different twist for people who are searching for that breathtakingly amazing calendar, here's one that definitely is out of the ordinary. The Lindner Company, a Polish manufacturer of coffins, offers each year a calendar featuring scantily-clad models posing on or beside their wares! I've included an image below to give a sample of one from an earlier year; some of them are definitely NSFW or for impressionable children.

This one might be a great stocking-stuffer for Goth guys, too!

Anyway, if you wonder how far the art calendar market will go, this might give you an idea!


Sunday, August 6, 2017

Tee Boudreaux Is in Love

The pretty young schoolteacher was concerned about one of her eleven-year-old students, "Tee" Boudreaux. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, " 'Tee' Boudreaux, why has your schoolwork been so poor lately?"

" Mais, I can't concentrate, Teacher!" replied 'Tee.' I done fell in love."

"Oh, is that so?" said the teacher, holding back an urge to smile. "And with whom?"

"Mais, wid you," he answered.

"But 'Tee'," exclaimed the secretly pleased young lady, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday; but I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry, Teacher" said 'Tee* Boudreaux reassuringly, "I'll be careful."

*Dat's Cajun for "little" (p'tit).

Friday, August 4, 2017

Half-Off Admission for Wearing a Mini-Skirt

The Guilin Merryland Amusement Park in Guilin, Peoples' Republic of China found a way to increase interest and attendance: It featured a 'Happy Summer Loves Miniskirts' promotion in which women who were over 18 years could get half off admission (55 RMB) if their skirt is shorter than 38 cm. (They measure them.) On July 21 and 22, admission for miniskirt wearers was further lowered to only 10 RMB! This greatly increased attendance!

This marketing strategy was not without critics who describing it "a vulgar publicity stunt without any meaning, and an unhealthy low-class event." Ouch!

Apparently, a lot of the possible attendees did not feel it was vulgar and low-class!

This is an example of an effective psychological ploy to increase interest and admission sales. I have not been able to determine whether the boost in attendance was sufficient to cover the difference between the discounted admissions and the normal ones, but it is something to wonder about.

Business Insider also reported that some entrepreneurs set up booths near the amusement park to sell inexpensive miniskirts for the wearers to qualify for the sharply reduced admission!

Also, did the Happy Summer Loves Miniskirts promotion also increase admissions on the part of males? Probably.

I wonder what would happen if some amusement park in the USA were to try a similar promotion. Would this produce widespread protests? We are, in general, a dour lot. And China is far from the era of Chairman Mao.

And I confess that, in my case, the sharply lower admission charge might affect my choice of dress and when to attend too. Old fashioned Acadian frugality, you know! Or maybe desensitization due to our custom of Mardi Gras.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Who Should Start a Kiss?

When it comes time to kiss, which gender is more likely to take the initiative? An article in The Guardian provided the tantalizing detail that men initiate a kiss about 79 per cent of the time; and that when they do kissers tend to prefer to lean to the right! The latter seems to something that humans might be hard-wired to do.

The researchers of this osculatory activity used cross-cultural data from Britain and Bangladesh and in both places it was the guys who were more likely to start the process.

The age-old nature-nuture question can rear its dreary head even when it comes do matters like this*: Do guys take the lead because they're more motivated to start the process which they anticipate to lead to further mutual pleasure (and get the prelims over with as soon as they can); or do cultural restraints dictate who can do what, when, and to whom?

A further question might also be: who initiates going to second or third base?

Anyway, a little story. Back when I was in high school, I was in a girls' discussion regarding kissing, (Yes, nice Catholic girls do think and mostly talk about such matters at times.) I commented that once I wanted to be kissed, so I just up and kissed Dee-Doh to help him make up his mind.

Suddenly, a silence fell. I didn't think that my revelation was particularly shocking, and they knew I was his tee copine.

But then one of them asked, "You kissed him?" Some of the discussers feigned or evinced shock!

I did not know that girls shouldn't take the lead. Like on a number of other points, I didn't get that memo. I guess I'm a bit fast!

My admission and the reaction to it had the impact of a dead rat being ceremoniously deposited on the coffee table. I did not know I transgressed a norm. But I've done things like that enough not to be surprised.

While others in the group lovingly described being kissed in glowing terms, in their cases they were the kissee, not the kisser! Apparently I had crossed a line by starting the process. A line that I felt free to cross again if males were slow. The fact that I injected myself into the initiator role was what shocked them! Immediately, one asked if I gave him a soul kiss! I did not answer. That question was rude and intrusive!

But I ask you: If you want to be kissed, why not encourage shy guys along? It's not like playing below the belt line!

*A constant question in psychology. Often a combination of both is in play.

Monday, July 31, 2017

Voir les Anges

The French language has a few poetic expressions for le petit mort.  One is voir les anges (to see angels)Has any other language described an orgasm so charmingly?

How about some facts about orgasms?

1)  The typical female orgasm lasts for about 6 to 10 seconds.  Some lucky ladies' may last as long as 20 seconds!
2)  "J'ai un mal a la tête"/"I have a headache."  Actually, having an orgasm may cure a headache for about 48% of women.
3)  About 47% of women take matters into their own hands to have their first orgasm.
4)  About 1% of women can orgasm from breast stimulation alone. So much for second base.
5)  About 70% of women faked an orgasm.  They are good potential actresses.
6)  When men orgasm, their brains release chemicals that make them feel sleepy.
7)  Women who have two or more orgasms per week may live longer.  And live well!
8)  Some women faint when they have orgasms.
9)  Pigs can have orgasms that last 15 minutes or more.  Now that's making bacon with style!

Friday, July 28, 2017

A Factor Affecting the Payment of Taxes

The conventional wisdom is that people loathe taxes; and pay them only because of threats from the government to do so. 

However, an experiment done over 20 years ago by the Minnesota Department of Revenue regarding compliance in paying taxes came up with an unexpected result. The experiment worked as follows: Those participating in the experiment got one of four possible letters regarding tax payment.

(1) A letter emphasizing the social goods that are served by compliance: education, police, fire, health, etc.

(2) A letter emphasizing the penalties for non-payment;

(3) A letter emphasizing how they could get help in filling out the form;

(4) A letter emphasizing that more than 90 percent of Minnesotans already complied by paying their taxes.

Which letter seemed to work best?

Interestingly enough, extolling the benefits stemming from being a good citizen, threatening penalties for noncompliance, or offering help had little effect on compliance. Only one thing did: the information that most people have already complied by payment of their taxes in the past . The power of example, and the tendency to do like others do, served as a motivator for people.

Indeed, the I.R.S. (not a particularly popular governmental agency) might be following a counterproductive strategy by emphasizing penalties for noncompliance in payment of taxes. Why not simply send everyone who pays her or his taxes a note thanking them for paying, like most of their fellow citizens, their taxes?

And it would be really nice if the note was written longhand, on nice "thank you note" stationary. A little bit of the personal touch would possibly counter the alienation or the "us versus them" orientation of so many people.

The sale of war bonds during World War II showed that. For many, it was one of the ways they could contribute to the war effort.

Princess Lum, after she paid her taxes,
was left only with a swim suit and boots.

That left her wondering what she would have
been her penalty for nonpayment of taxes!

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Channeling too Much "Hamilton"

Texas congressman Blake Farenthold (R - Corpus Christi) has vaulted into prominence lately with the startling announcement that he would like to fight a duel with female Congressperson Susan Collins (R - Maine) over their differences over health care legislation. Apparently, he might have seen or read about the currently popular play on Broadway, "Hamilton," and thought that dueling could be a straightforward South Texas way of reconciling political differences.   

Does he not know that the winner of the famous duel, Aaron Burr, was the villain of the piece; or that dueling is illegal in each of the fifty states? Anyway, the issue behind the health care debate is how best to provide insurance for treatment, not to increase the number of people requiring some form of health care!

Anyway, here is Representative Farenthold and a friend showing what a well-dressed Congressperson should wear for sleep attire. I think, that in the service of full disclosure, each of the other 434 Congresspersons and the100 Senators should also pose in their sleepwear. Except for the ones that sleep in the nude, of course.

Congressman Farentholt and a Friend

For his epic performance in his conduct in public office, and for making the residents of the Lone Star State very proud, he seriously deserves an appropriate award for display on the desk in his office:

Jackass of the Week Award

Sunday, July 23, 2017

New Scope for the Cheerleaders

The Parish School Board officials decided that, in order to justify to the broader and diverse student body and community of Bayou Teche High School, the cheerleaders and cheer squad should support other student and community activities as well. While their presence at football and basketball games was laudable, certain factions of the faculty felt that they should support women's sports and non-sport extracurricular activities. 

Fair enough. The Cheer Boosters contributed mucho dinero to the basketball and football athletic programs, and the school wanted this largess spread to other areas.  Besides, they got enough additional uniforms since Rosie's House of Burlesque and Tanning Parlor donated new uniforms to enhance their halftime performances. In effect, they had an A Cheer Team and a B Cheer Team.

Well, they were a bit more stylish than the ones donated by Bordeaux's Garage and Tire Service!

First, the cheerleaders performed before the School Board meeting, just to boost school spirit as the Board debated dress codes and budget overruns. In a way, it was harder for the school board members voting for stricter dress codes after seeing the bare midriffs of the cheerleaders. The student body saw this as a good sign.

Except for one: the Methodist minister. He did not appreciate being called upon to be a navel inspector, as he was never particularly nautical or naughty.

Girls' volleyball fully enjoyed having cheerleaders at their games; as did girls' softball.

But, by dividing the squad into smaller components, some cheerleaders appeared to cheer the debate team on their debates with other schools.

"Make that argument!" "His reasoning is wrong!" "She has a big butt!" "That's all right team, fight! Fight!

But cheerleaders at matches for the chess club definitely put things in the weird zone! They sometimes spontaneously broke out in cheers. Somehow, Shouting out in unison "king him" or "that's all right team, fight! fight!" was not applicable for that sedentary sport!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

The Semantics of Cuisine: The Case of Chili

Semantics, the study of meaning and understanding of words, is worth studying for a variety of ways. Among other things, it helps promote communication. 

Most of us would have some dissatisfaction with the Humpty-Dumpty Theory of Words, as illustrated by this quotation:

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean- neither more nor less."

"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."

"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master-that's all."

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again.

"They've a temper some of them- particularly verbs: they're the proudest- adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs- however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That's what I say!"

You can definitely not look to me as a semantics adept. See Bilbo for that role. However, I recently encountered a real-life semantics issue when I went to lunch in an unfamiliar restaurant and ordered chili. Perusing the menu, I encountered unfamiliar terms such as "three way" and "five way."

Having committed, I tried this new way of serving chili. I'm not a foodie absolutist; growing up in New Orleans allows one to encounter several different ways of doing things. And, I might chauvinistically add, you might encounter good food even in unexpected places, like school or hospital cafeterias.

Okay, it was a runny meat sauce, served on spaghetti! It apparently had a strong ketchup and Worcester sauce-like flavor, and possibly with cumin and even chocolate notes. Whatever be the sins of this meat sauce, it seemed to be entirely venial when it came to chili powder. Much less actual chiles!*

In short, I had encountered Cincinnati chili! This fare is apparently popular there in the Midwest in cafés on beaneries.

I did not find my experience to be edifying; though I strongly believe in everyone following their own preferences. I suggest, however, that this concoction be referred to as "Cincinnati chili" or even "Cincinnati meat sauce." The term "chili" should be reserved for the chili recipes from New Mexico or Texas.

Except for choices of condiments on hot dogs. I side with Dirty Harry on this issue:

*I like the New Mexican practice of referring to the peppers themselves as "chiles" while the Tex-Mex food is called"chili."

Monday, July 17, 2017

A Divine Comedy

As a little change of pace, let me recommend an offbeat, funny, and totally risqué movie: The Little Hours. 

There's a lot to love in it: lubricious and abusive nuns, randy peasants, witches, a tender ass, a drunken priest, and strange doings set in Medieval times.  

Alison Brie, Kate Micucci, Aubrey Plaza, Dave Franco, John C. Reilly, and others appear in this romp movie that is likely to be unlike anything else you're likely to see this summer. Don't miss this one! You might need to look for it, as it does not fit into the general mold of the Summer Blockbuster and may not be in theatres catering to the usual mall theatre fare.

Furthermore, the storyline comes from one of the tales of The Decameron, by Giovanni Boccaccio (1313-1375). Boccaccio was one racy writer who is a guilty pleasure to read!

Friday, July 14, 2017

Guindon Cartoons

Richard Guindon was a Midwestern cartoonist noted for his quirky cartoons.  I find his cartoons to be a humor delight.  He needs to be honored more as an original of American cartoonists.

An underrated cartoonist from an earlier time.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Playing at Being Cajun

One surprise in traveling to farther parts of the United States is encountering the wild stereotypes people there have about Cajuns and the Acadian Parishes, much less New Orleans. This came across in Alaska around a campfire, where I encountered those remarkable rara aves, a multiaged group of people who spontaneously conversed with strangers. It started innocently enough; having to do with the pronunciation of my name.

"What kind of name is that?"

"Acadian French."

"Ohh! A coonass!* Have you ever paddled one of those long, narrow canoes?"

"A pirogue?"

"Yes, if that's what you people call them."

"Do you have alligators back home?" 

"Uh, yes. We do. And pelicans, muskrats, and nutria also."

"Do you wear shoes back home?" 

"Does your family speak real English or just French?" [Actually, I do best with New Orleans English and a Louisiana dialect of French.]

Now here is where the role of imparting real factual information often takes second place to the Cajun trickster or raconteuse that so easily comes out at this time. And the usual spoken English gradually morphs into a pronounced, exaggerated dialect. These and those becomes dese and doses. Dat's rite! That sounds exotic in places where people say "You betcha!" or drink soda.

"Did ya ever eat alligator?"

"Why no. Dat wouldn't be right. We have a pet gator, Albie, and we wouldn't feel right in eating our beloved pet or his kin. Gators got feelins' too."

And somewhere along in the tale I spun managed to go to school by pirogue instead of riding a city bus. And became barefooted instead of wearing shoes to school with the school color-coded Catholic school uniform. (In our case, brown skirts with white blouses.)

"Whooo-eeee! Swamp girl goes get some educatin'" !

And I need to mention that we drink local beers: Abita, Dixie, and whatever the store sells cut rate. And all of us, hommes and filles alike are handy with a knife. And a fork and spoon, too!

And if I'm really expansive (or full of shit!), I tell of loup-garous, lost Acadian maids and their lovers, Yankee soldiers that got lost while invading the bayous,  moonshiners, swamp monsters, and tomfool politicians who promised too much. And stories of wild parties during hurricanes also can also be told! Apocrypha is never out of style!

My rationale is that, if there is to be a choice between the everyday reality and the exotic, people would rather hear the exotic every time. Especially around campfires.

Yes, it helps to be able to keep a straight face while being a Cajun raconteuse! Anyway, the drama queen in me likes †o be seen as some untamed exotic!

*Using that term in Southern Louisiana does not help to win friends and influence people there, my friens.' Fo' true!.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Cowgirl Melinda and the Running of the Bulls

Cowgirl Melinda, normally a lass of even temperament and slow to criticize, could make some exceptions at times. She did have a minimal fashion sense, as she commented on why she would not wear jodhpurs while in Captain Randy's Tame Eastern Show. She was neutral during the 2016 election; considering it a serious mess no matter how se looked at it. 

But there is one thing that totally and reliably stuck in her craw. That is that ostensibly sane individuals would go to torrid northwestern Spain in mid-summer, for gosh sake!  And let themselves be chased by bulls! For God's sake: those damned things have horns and they don't blow 'em!

She was, of course, referring to the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona!

Now let's get the flavor of Melinda's thoughts on this:

"Hopping Horehound Cough Drops, buckaroos! You mean there are people so screwed up that they would willingly go to a place where pissed-off bulls get to run down the street and be chased by them? No, these dudes were not sentenced by some barbaric court to be chased and possibly maimed by these raging cattle; they did it on purpose! One even got gored in his gut and another in his scrotum for being on the unlucky end of one of these terrible testy toros!"

"I blame it all on a 1920's hack writer, Hemingway, a Midwesterner who wrote some other Required Reading that we subject high school kids to and tell them it could be worse: It could be Jude the Really Obscure or Great Expectorations!*

And listening to Cowgirl Melinda, this makes a lot of sense. Who in his or her right mind would get in the way of angry bulls? 

*The real deal books were bo-ring! - A.M.B.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Close the -Gate, Already!

Watergate, which happened sometime in the B. A. (before Angélique) era has spawned the ubiquitous -"gate" suffix as a shorthand to render anything attached to it as scandalous, like Nipplegate or Deflategate

Gee, in the Pretrumpian Era, was there such a stability and orderliness that the Watergate scandal forever shattered that cognitive stability regarding government? Or has the English language become so ossified that we reflexively fall on a few hackneyed terms (or suffixes, in this case) to encapsulate an idea?

The latest thrill ride to evoke the -gate suffix is beachgate now.  Apparently beaches in Jersey were closed due to inadequate funding; but guess who managed to appear like a beached whale on Jersey Shore? No, it wasn't Snooki. Yes, the Tub Guv* in all his splendor. 

I move that '-gate' be included among the List of Banned Words that Lake Superior State University comes out with for 2018. 

*Not to be mistaken for Alabama's former Luv Guv, Robert Bentley.